Maximum Parody
by fnickxxISxxsuperman
Summary: A parody of maximum ride. *Warning: Contains Killer Fangirls, Max Voodoo, sarcasm, and violent fighting moves with weird names. You have been warned*
1. Chapter 1

"**I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that. For so **_**long."- Nudge**_

_**I don't own anything except the parody. It is out of absolute adoration for this book that I mock it so.**_

_**Chapter One**_

Flowers and happiness and shortcake and mocking eight year olds…

Angel: OMG! Erasers!!

Max: WTF??????

Ari: Ha ha! I is eraser! Bow to my pink rubbery might!

James Patterson: *cough cough*

Ari: What? Oh, sorry JP. Bow to my hairy, wolfy, seven year old might!

Max: Turbo Action Heroes, go!

Le Fight: *Is bloody*

Iggy: Oh, frick. They took Angel and have a helicopter waiting for her.

Fang: Thank you, captain obvious.

Readers: Hold on. Erasers? What?

JP: Werewolves.

Members of team Jacob: Woohoo!

Angel: Max! Save me!

Max: Na, I'm just going to attack a helicopter for my health.

Angel: Shut up and take a plot point.

xxxxxxx

Max: Okay guys, let's go get Angel.

Iggy: Hahahahahahahahaha-NO.

Max: Say what?

Iggy: I'm not going on a suicide mission.

Max: Sure, whatever. You weren't going to go anyway.

Iggy: You bet I'm- wait, what? *Le gasp* You were going to leave me behind? Suddenly, I want to go on this so called suicide mission.

Max: No way.

Gazzy: Haha. Sux 4 U.

Max: You're not going either, oh-smelly-one.

Gazzy: WTF?

Nudge: Stop speaking in abbreviations! That's my thing!

Fang: Hahahaha. You probably can't go because your scent would lead them right to us.

Gazzy: That's not the reason, is it Max? It's probably something smart like me being to young.

Max: Na, it's pretty much the scent thing, Farticus. Anyway, no matter what the reason, you guyz aren't going.

Gazzy&Iggy: Oh go to h-

Max: Alright. Let's go before this thing is still rated K+.

Fang: Wait, you mean me and you are going together? ALONE??

Max: Stop drooling, emo boy. No, nudge is going too.

Fang: Ah man. I'm gonna go slit my wrists.

Max: No way. Be emo on your own time. Besides, that's Ari's thing.

Ari: Hey! That's not till book two!

Max: Shut up dog breath. I'm not supposed to kick your #$% until we're in a subway tunnel.

**Once again, I wrote this because I love the books, parodies are funny, and Ari threatened to kill me if I didn't. R&R!!!!!**


	2. Language of the farticicians

**Many thanks to Gottabesomebody. You are awesome. And AliceCullen-Rox. I try to pack in more awesomeness.**

Gazzy: This stinks.

Iggy: Well duh! You're here, aren't you?

Gazzy: UYjvvbs ufhf asdjsdu

Iggy:… Dare I ask?

Gazzy: LANGUAGE OG THE FARTICACIANS!!!!

Iggy: Riiiigggghtt…

Gazzy: Anyway, back to the former subject.

Iggy:…

Gazzy: The discussion of the suckiness.

Iggy: Oh! Right. THIS SUCKS! I want to save Angel

Gazzy: You know, you didn't want to go in the first place and just let Angel die…

Iggy: Shut up Gasman. I want to save Angel.

Gazzy: Okay… Anyway, we should make a plan to protect ourselves! Ari the emo seven year old might come back.

Ari: I said before, I'm not Emo until book two!

Iggy: Subway tunnel.

Ari: Where?*disappears*

Gazzy: Um, How did he just disappear?

Iggy: Oh the power of the keyboard backspace button.

Gazzy: Cool! Okay, let's sift through this safety hazard we call a cabinet and make our own plan.

Iggy: Ya know, maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean, max said not to and…

Gazzy: Bombs.

Iggy: I'm in!

Gazzy: Good. Now let's make a plan of what we need.

Iggy: Where do we start?

Gazzy: ooh, I know! Lets. Write. WORDS!

Iggy: The sad part is that he's not even kidding.

Gazzy: *scribbles furiously while farting in time with the pencil*

Iggy: How far we got?

Gazzy: The word "WE".

Iggy: Awesome! NOW we're getting somewhere!


	3. Fan Girls of Doom

**I know the last chapter was lame. Sorry. I was high off reviews. Here is another chapter…**

**PURPLE MUSHROOMS! **

**Sorry. I had a moment. Gottabesomebody? Please excuse me for not asking permission for the farticus language joke. I just thought it was funny**

**Alright. Here we go.**

Nudge: Please.

Max: No

Nudge: Please?

Max: NO.

Nudge: PLEASE????

Max: I SAID NO, DA-

Fang: Hey, this thing is supposed to be K+…

Max: -ang it. ALRIGHT! You can, Nudge.

Nudge: Sweet! Alright, here I go!

Fang: I hate you, Max. OMGIWASJUSTKIDDINGPLEASEDON'THATEMENOW!

Nudge: *sings* 1,000 bottles of beer on the wall! 1,000 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 9,999 bottles of beer on the wall!

Max: It's okay, Fang. I hate myself already after just one verse.

xxxxxxx

Nudge: Take one dowwwwn, pass it arounnnnddd, no more bottles of beer on the waaaallll!

Max: Amazing! She actually finished the entire song.

Fang: Is that even humanly possible?

Max: Apparently so. Anyway, should we stop for awhile?

Fang: Yeah, probably. I want to slit my wrists, and I really don't want to spill blood on someone's head.

Nudge: Why don't you bite your arm so the blood goes in your mouth? It works for Ari!

Edward Cullen: It also works for me. Though I prefer animal blood.

Fang: Yo, how did you get into our book? And into the air? OMGDON'TYOUDARESTEALMAXFROMME!

Max: OMG! WEIRD NEW ENEMY I MUST DESTROY!

Edward Cullen: I'd like to see you try.

Nudge: *realizes Edward Cullen is there* OMG!!! EDWARD!!!! I LOVE YOU!

Edward: Crap. I thought this book would be free of fan girls.

Max: Naa, we got a few for Fang, but they'll transition easily.

Fang: Dude, run while you still have legs.

Edward: Thanx for the advice *flies away on magical vampire powers. A Group of fan girls flies in, with I LOVE EDWARD and FUTURE MRS. CULLEN t-shirts. They scan the perimeter fiercely.

Fan Girl #1: Hey, you kids seen a gorgeous vampire past through these parts? Don't bother lying, our guide has his scent. *A girl totally tricked out with vampire stuff and a chain and collar around her neck growls at the flock, being held back by another fangirl.*

Fang: Ya, he went thataway.

Fangirl #1: Thanx, Fang. Consider your self lucky that we are currently obsessed with Cullen. After him, girls! *With battle cries they fly away*

Nudge: You knew that girl?

Fang: Yeah. It was *shudder* Clarisse.

Max: Oh, ya mean that girl who was stalking you last year and threw-

Fang: Ya, that one.

Max: Wow. I hope she doesn't find you again. You had to go through six weeks of therapy with Jeb after she actually caught you.

Fang: *shudders again* I'll never be able to eat watermelon again.


	4. Max voodoo is FUN

Max: (thinking) OMJEEZEWE"VEBEENSLEEPING FORTENHOURSANDNEEDTOSAVEANGELANDAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Fang. Yo. Ya think we stayed to long?

Max: Na. we had to rest, and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP HOPE THAT ANGEL IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!1 YA HEAR THAT JP??????

Nudge: Ya know, I AM the one who's supposed to do the abbreviations and Tot. Awesome MMM.

Max: Say what?

Nudge: *Le sigh* Totally awesome motor mouth mode.

Fang: Right.

JP: Yo, Max, look down and notice something. Important plot-related things must happen!

Max: Um, okay sur- OMJEEZESADEFENSLESSGIRLIMUSTSAVE!!!!

Nudge: il sy it 1mr tme, abrev. & MMM is my thng!

Max: Once again your lingo has stumped me. Fang, translate the martian language she speaks.

Fang: I'll say it one more time, abbreviations and motor mouth mode is my thing.

Max: awesome. Wait, since when do you speak screwed-up-text?

Fang: Emo kids get around.

Max:… right, OK. I've got to go save my half sister.

Jp: Max! You don't know that yet.

Max: What? Oh right. Sorry. There's a typo in my script. Keeps screwing up my lines- BOMBS AWAY!!!!!!

Fang: Man she's a dumb-

Nudge: K+

Fang: Donkey.

xxxx

Thug #1: Okay, chick. You're going to die for telling the teacher I nearly murdered a guy.

Stupid Thug Minions: Yuh. Huhuh, you're gonna DIE. Huhuhuhuh.

Max: Wow. I never thought I'd meet someone who sounds more stupid than Iggy-

Thug Minions: Huhuhuh_ DIE! Huhuhuhuhuh.

Max: But I'll admit defeat on that particular subject. YO! THUG MINIONS! Normally, I know that one girl could whip all thirteen of you guyz's sorry butts, but seeing as that one dude is carrying a gun....

Thug #!: NO I'm not!

Max: I'm just going to laugh as I beat you peeps into a pulp

Thug #1: Grab the freak.

Thug minions: huhuh- uh, boss just told us we gota do something. Um, alright. Huhuhuhu-GRAB

Max: I shall now nearly kill you all, exclaim over how fragile you weirdos are, and then runaway. *Does so*

xxxx

Max: Crud. My shoulder is shot. I shall now risk giving up everything I have, and actually go talk to a human.

Readers: …

Max: I've finally gone crazy.

xxxx

Fang: No, Nudge, you insert the pin into the eyeball. Much more painful.

Nudge: Should we cut her wrists like you do?

Fang: Na, me and Ari are already emo, and I have to battle him to the death in the second book to claim the shtick of cutting my wrists. Na, just keep stabbing the doll in the face.

Nudge: Heehee, Max voodoo is FUN.

Fang: That it is Nudge. That it is.


	5. Silence them with chocolate

Max: Yo, girl I met just a few minutes ago? Um, ya, the thugs I saved you from have wounded me, and I decided I might as well trust a human I don't know to keep my secret instead of getting rich off my tragic story.

Ella: Wait, you mean you're not human?

Max: NO I'M NOT A MUTANT FREAK WITH WINGS, WHYEVER WOULD YOU THINK THAT???????

Ella: Umm, right. Okay, I'll just take a random stranger into my house and promise her care. MOM! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!! And this one's heroic.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Iggy: Yo, check out the erasers. Hmm, they seem to be accompanied by a drunk platypus this time…

Gazzy: That's Ari.

Iggy: Hmm. That explains a lot. Yo, let's go cause a car accident that would cripple most people!

Gazzy: Righto!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nudge: I have decided to go vegetarian. Bow to my might.

Fang: *silence*

Nudge: Yo, dude, you are not showing amazing cleverness by commenting on my vegetarian decision. WHAT THE CRAP IS UP?????

Fang: I am feeling emo, and Max confiscated all my sharp items before she left.

Nudge: Dude, you aren't actually supposed to act as emo as the rest of our generation is! You're a joke! What part of MAXIMUM PARODY don't you understand?

Fang: The fact that it's named after Max and not me. FAVORITISM.

Nudge: Shut up and eat your dumpster trash.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: gvfvjfgcjbvrjekwyrvc

Ella: I TOLD you those scents make people high, mom!!!!!

Dr. V: Oh, be quiet. I'm sure she'll be coherent after a few minutes.

Max: GIVE. ME. THA. COO-KIES!!!!!!!

Ella: *hands over*

Max: *snarfs down*

Dr. V: Careful, you don't want to lose your girlish figure.

Max: Why do I care about maintaining my curves? Oh, that's right! I DON'T!!!!!

Ella: Oh, mother. Inside each of us is a skinny girl just waiting to get out-

Dr. V: And?

Ella: AND WE SILENCE THEM WITH MULTIPLE BARS OF CHOCOLATE!!!!!

Max&Dr.V: AMEN!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**And meanwhile, as this collective group of chocoholic women let's themselves go… **

Ari: DIE, MUTANT FREAKS!!!!

Iggy: Irony, much? Anyway, you're supposed to be at the school tearing my little sister to shreds.

Gazzy: Dude, we gotta blow this place up soon. See anyway to get out that would cause drama and suspense?

Iggy: Going through the roof and activating a miniature of an atomic bomb?

Gazzy: let's do it! *Does so with dramatic flair*

Iggy: Now that's what I call, going out with a bang!

Gazzy: BAD JOKE ALERT! Anyway, wea ar majer gene-ea-us-es.

Iggy: You do realize you just spelled half of you're dialogue wrong, right?

Gazzy: Of course I- wait, what?

**Gah. I take big break. Me have no inspiration. Hoping peeps don't notice. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. I can feel the love!!!!**

**-fnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. And remember, inside every one of us is a skinny person just waiting to break free, but we silence them with chocolate. That, my friends, is a code to live by.**


	6. Tally ho!

**Wow. Me has got lot's of reviews. Thanks.**

Angel: Max, where are you???? I'm dying…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Yo, Dr. V, can I have more cookies before I go?

Dr. V: Na, we inhaled them all yesterday in order to silence the skinny girls within us.

Max: Oh, I forgot. Ya know I gained five pounds last night.

Ella: Only five? I gained ten!

Dr. V: I gained twenty. Anyway, I think Angel's waiting for you Max.

Max: YOU ARE CORRECT!!!! Farewell, mortals, for I now resume my quest to rescue a tiny, winged juvenile from a rotting cesspool of well-funded evil!

Ella&Dr. V: Mkay! Bye!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Oh, look. The flock is gone. Guess I'll just have to go back to Dr. V's and eat more cookies…

Flock: Yo, checkit, we're right here!

Max: Oh darn- I mean, good!!

Nudge: We love you too, Max!

Iggy: Honestly, she can feel the love. Anyway, let's go.

Max: Wait, why the frick are you here? You were supposed to stay home!!

Gazzy: Erasers came to blow us up.

Max: You were supposed to stay home!

Fang: Seriously, I know you're supposed to do _some_ things wrong in the book, just to make it interesting, but this is ridiculous. You're supposed to be SMART!!!!

Max: Shut up, emo boy. I'll mentally kill myself later, when you guys won't see me being depressed, but for right now, let's go get Angel.

Iggy: Ya know, I changed my mind again, now that it's clear we're being led by a cookie junky. Let's go home!

Gazzy: WE'RE SAVING MY LITTLE SISTYER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, SO SHUT IT!!!!!!

Iggy: jhugdajhesrjb gj dkf iubfol

Gazzy: hduyw $%&^ jlsv oy (*&^ jgdkjehf

Max: Um, dare I ask?

Iggy: Language of the Farticians. Long story.

Max: Um, was he saying any cusswords?

*Iggy and Gazzy look at eachother*: Meehhh- beeehhh

Max: Mmkaaaayy. Let's go get Angel. TALLY-HO!!!!

Flock: Righto, governor!

**Bleck. Short chapter, I know, but I'm getting lot''s of reviews. (Cough, cough. Hint hint.) Thanx to those who reviewed**

**-fnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. Happines is getting a whole, giant sized, double chocolaty chip starbucks frappuchino all to yourself!!!!!**


	7. Rainbow Kick of Love Cmon, I was ten

**Thanx you guyz!!! You rock! I'm getting at least two reviews a day!**

Max: I spy with my little eye… A JERKISH DUDE WE COULD TOTALLY ROBB!!!!!!!

Gazzy: Yeah! Now we can, like, totally buy a hot-rod! It can have those hydrolics and bounce up and down…

Iggy: And have fire flares or whatever those weird pipes that shoot out fire are called…

Nudge: Sure! Let's give the pyromaniacs MORE amo!!! After all, giving Iggy and Gazzy an open resource of flames has worked so well in the past.

Max: Dang. No hot-rod for us, so much as I LURV having an eight-year-old with GAS problems getting anywhere near FIRE. (cough- flame thrower-cough) Sorry, guyz, we can only get out 200 bucks at a time.

Nudge: Who cares? I just want to go get some food that's so high in fat and calories it provides no nutrition at all, and gives you a heart attack for every bite!

Fang: Amen. Wait, how are we going to get to a fast food place?

Max: WHY CAN'T YOU STOP BEING SENSIBLE FOR ONCE, DANG IT?

Gazzy: ooh, look! Another dude we can totally ro-

Max: *snarls*

Gazzy: -BORROW! Yeah, borrow! After all, borrowing TOTALLY worked for Spongebob and Patrick when they "borrowed" the balloon.**(Just so ya know, it popped and they ran away because they thought the police would arrest them. It was free balloon day.)**

Max: But I don't want to send out the wrong message to the readers…

Ari: Hello, children? How are you? Come here often? How's the food? Aw, that's great! Listen, I'm here to force you into Grand Theft Auto!

Max: *Sighs* I hate whoever came up with this plot. OKAY, GANG! LET'S HOTWIRE A CAR! Like we've obviously done a thousand times despite my responsible outlook from a few lines ago about the status of our readers' minds.

Iggy: *screwdriver, sparks…* WE'RE GOOD!

Max: Yeah! Now I get to achieve my life-long dream of DRIVING! Because, seriously, being able to fly pales in comparison to being able to sit in 5 o' clock traffic in a bulky old van!

xxxxxxxx Several ueys, hairpin turns, and near-death experiences later…

Nudge: WE'RE ALIVE!!!!

Gazzy: And people say miracles don't happen!

Max: Shut up. Anyway, what I want to know is, how did we do all those illegal stunt moves without being stopped by police?

Fang: JP arranged it all for us.

Max: Oh, you mean that unseen force that governs our lives and actions?

Fang: Yup. Now let's go stuff our faces.

Flock: *Does so until they realize they are surrounded by male models*

Nudge: Is it me, or are we surrounded by vampires?

Max: Maybe we're in one of those commercials and they're going to break out in song soon.

Gazzy: Nah, they have a drunk-looking platypus with them-

Iggy: meaning Ari

Gazzy: - so that means they're Erasers.

Max: Crap. I wanted to show off my mad break-dancing moves. *Le sigh* Anyway, evasive manoeuvre #539.

Gazzy: "Rainbow kick of love?" or "Peace punch of Joy"?

Fang: Neither. "Get Freaking Butt Out Of Here"

Iggy: Dang. I wanted to do "Choking Hold of Painful Death and Unicorns"

Max: Who named all of these violent moves anyway?

Flock: You did.

Max: Hmm, well, come on, I was ten! Anyway, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fang: Great. Me, you, and Nudge all got caught anyway.

Max: Hmm. Maybe #197 would have been better.

Nudge: Chinchilla-Destroys-the-carrot?

Max: We really should have given these things some better names.

**Fabulous! Gottabesomebody? You're hilarious. With you're long reviews… and stuff.**

**Anyway, let's continue onward. I tried to make this chapter longer, and not make lame jokes, only ones that make you ROTFLMFAO. We shall see if I have succeeded.**

**FnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. "Don't say that. Nothing is impossible."**

"**Whoever first said that has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."**


	8. Drs of Smarticleness

**HELLO PEEPS! ENJOY WHILE I TRY TO MAKE THE CAPSLOCK TURN OFF!!!!!!!**

Max: Noooobody knoooooows, the trooooouuuubles Iii've seeeeeen. Nooooobody knoooows my soooorrooow.

Fang: Should I accompany on the harmonica, or what?

Max: Ya, whatev. Hello Angel, baby. How have these guys been treating you?

Angel: *rasises eyebrows and gestures towards her many bruises, scars, and poking out ribs.*

Max: Oh. Right.

Jeb: Hello, Max, baby. Long time no see! How are you? Man, you look fit! Desert rats really make you look good.

Max: *is silent*

Jeb: Come! Let me make you forget the fact that I abandoned all of you people with no explanation what so ever by giving you hot chocolate with marshmallows!

Max: *more silence*

Jeb: Okaaaayy, plan B! I JUST WUV YOU SOOO MUCH MAX!!!! YOU MAKE ME SO PWOUD!

Max: *Is STILL silent while the lyrics "Too laaate to apologiiiize" go over and over in her head*

Jeb: Hmmm… Ah! I have it! Max, you're supposed to save the entire world all by your undernourished, adolescent, skinny bird self!

Max: Say whaaaaaaat?

Jeb: SUCCESS!

Max: *goes back into coma*

Jeb: Aw, shiz. Oh well. Despite the fact that you are now, apparently, the messiah, you are going to go back into your Kanine Kamper and eat disgusting, probably inedible food!

Max: *thinks* First I'll break your legs, then your arms, then I'll give you a mild concussion…

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Doctor McScience: Hmm. We seem to be out of Eraser food.

Doctor O'Geekerson: We could always use the interns again…

Doctor Nerdyman: WAIT! What if we use the bird kids?

Dr's of Smarticleness: BRILLIANT!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Wait, are we suddenly monkeys?

Angel: Well, I guess I could get my other powers early and turn into a monkey…

Fang: And I could be a gorilla or something…

Nudge: I could copy Monkola Magazines hottest primate fashions…

Max: …BACK TO THE POINT!

Ari: Aww, wook at da wittle biwd kids. Awn't they so cuuute?

Max: Ahhahahahahahahah, so funny! Hahahaha- I BITE OFF CHO FINGA!

Ari: Holy &%$#!!!!!!!!!!! I will now prove my IQ levels by trying to tear apart the cage instead of using the door!

Max: FIREY SNAP KICK OF LOVE!**(If you don't understand this, see earlier chapter)**

Nudge: RABBITT-STEALS-THE-EASTER-EGG!!!!

Angel: CHOKING HOLD OF PAINFUL DEATH AND UNICORNS!

Fang:…I'm not going to say it.

Max: YOU'LL SAY YOUR LINE AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!

Fang: *le sigh* Leprechaun-hides-the-gold.

Iggy&Gazzy: YO! We have come with hawks!

Flock: YEEEEEAAAAAH!

Fang: Now I don't have to say anymore lame words!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Yeah! Now we can totally relax, eat food, steal money, and-

Angel: Hold on. I want to find my parents.

Max:…Erm, okay. I guess. Only if the state's not too far awa-

Angel: YEAH! WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK!!!!!

Max: …W. T. F????????

**SOOOOOOO????? Love? Hate? Vague space in between? REVIEW, I tell you! REVIEW!**

**-fnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. Some people are like slinkies; useless, but still fun to laugh at when you push them down the stairs!!!**


	9. Nooooo! It's a makeover!

**Aww, thnx you guyz! I feel loved!!**

Nudge: Start spreadin' the news! I'm leaving today! We are a great big part of it! New York-

Angel&Nudge: NEW YOOOOOORK!!!!!

Max: Remind me why we're doing this again.

Fang: Because apparently, they all want to find their parents, despite the fact that Angel broke most of their hearts when giving info.

Max: And because I am the main character, I naturally appear to have no parents.

Fang: Correct. And because JP just _had_ to add in a drug addict or two to make this actually seem slightly believable, my mother was naturally a drug using teen wh-

Max: Dude, seriously? What part of K+ DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????

Fang: Drug using teen mother. Satisfied?

Max: No, but whatev.

**\xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Max: Okay let's leave for New Yor- ZOMG!!!!! HEAD HURTS!!!! *totally faints*

Flock: Max? Maaaaaxx? Are you okay?

Max: Hn eus sje kridnhai

Gazzy&Iggy: YEAH!! MAX SPEAKS FARTICIAN TOO!!!!

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Gasman&Iggy: Arewethereyet? Arewethereyet? Arewethereyet?

Max: See, that is why I didn't want to fly all the way across the freakin' continent.

Fang: Don't worry Max. I still love-

Max: What?

Fang: I SAID SUPPORT! SUPPORT YOU!!!!

Gasman&Iggy: Arewethereyet? Arewethereyet? Arewethereyet?

Max: NO!

Angel: Oh look. We're there!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

JP: Just a reminder, New York is BIG.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Ohemajeezes! I'm going to stress _again_ how claustrophobic I am.

Fang: Hey Max, what's-

Max: *takes out dude walking beside her*

Fang: Up?

Max: Don't judge me, okay? I IS CLAUSTROHOBIC!!!!

Iggy: So are the rest of us, but you don't see _us_ taking out the metal statue of a dude, crushing it into the size of a ball, and chucking it at a person's head.

Max: I was nervous, okay? And that statue was totally stalking us.

Rest of Flock:…

Max: Never mind. Let's find a nice, cozy abandoned building or tree to sleep in.

Angel&Nudge: Max will dump olive oil on a gay dude's head!

Max: Can't wait!

Gasman&Iggy: THEN WE'LL SLEEP IN A SUBWAY TUNNEL!!!!

Max: Sweet!

Fang: WE'LL GET TO BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF PEOPLE WE HATE!

Max: Cool!

Angel&Nudge: AND WE'LL GET MAKEOVERS!!

Max: Noooooooooooo!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Okay, we must not get distracted. Every second must be taken up with finding the associates of the Doctors of Smarticleness. They shall be named the Doctors of Intelligencityness, and they shall be defeated by our awesome might and terminators, and Arnold Shwartzioneggar will blow them up. Over all, we must NOT BE DIS-

Gazzy: Somehow, over my underbearable stench, I smell cookies.

Max: I. WANT. DA. COOKIES.

Fang: What about the mission?

Max: *high of fumes* You gotta just go with the flow, man!

**It sucks, I know.**

**-FnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. First God created man.**

**Then he had a better idea.**


	10. Oliveoilonhead will be his indian nam

**About the P.S at the end, no offense to guys. I just saw it somewhere and thought it was funny**

Max: Despite the fact that we're running from killer erasers, I have decided I shall waste my time trying to find a good cookie.

Fang: *munches on peanuts*

Max: Wait, you are eating peanuts? SACRILEDGE!

Gazzy: Oh look, I see woman eraser.

Nudge: Yeah! The female experiments of the world are finally shaking off years of discrimination!!

Angel: Despite you being the girliest of all of us.

Max: Let's get off of the subject of feminist winged hybrids and RUN FOR OUR FREAKIN' LIVES!

Fang: How is nobody noticing these things hunting us?

Iggy: Hello? New York?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: Wow! I'm going to have spiritual moment about believing in god; then never say a word about him for the rest of the series!

JP: Yeah, I just wanted to make sure people didn't blame me for having characters that, like, impersonate angels or something.

Angel: Um, yeah. Wouldn't want that, now would we?

Iggy: Now we're all going to pray. God, it would be great if you could send me a bazooka, and some hand bombs, and some hairspray and matches. *cough* flame thrower *cough*.

Max: Hey Ig, what about _protection?_

Gazzy: Yeah, cause highly dangerous, lethal weapons aren't considered protection. Yo god, anytime you feel that it would be good to strike the Dr.s of Smarticleness or Intelligencityness with lighting, be our guest.

Nudge: Ditto

Angel: Copy that.

Fang: Repeat

Max: Amen

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **I am not trying to be sacrilegious or anything. Just funny. I didn't mean to offend anyone. **

Flock: We sleep in tree.

Cops: We try to arrest you and send you on wild police chase just because you were climbing a tree. After all, it's not like there are any dangerous criminals around in the most densely populated area in the country, or anything.

Flock: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US ALIVE, COPPERS!!!! *laughs insanely*

**Did this come before or after the church scene? Can't remember.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Gazzy: I shall now start snuffling and crying, making Max feel sorry for me so we can go get on the worldwide news.

Max: Yeah, cuz we're just crazy about publicity.

JP: Well, I had to move along the pot _somehow._

Jason: Hello, delinquents! Despite you have this popular thing called _money,_ we're going attempt to throw you out.

Max: God, this is getting annoying *dumps olive oil on his head*

Flock: Let's go. *flies away, blowing their almost nonexistent cover to all get out*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

JP: Now we arrive at the scene where Fang almost dies, causing Max to kiss him. Nothing like a little bit of fore shadowing!

Max: Ya know, how does no one notice all of these erasers in broad daylight, anyway?

JP: There's a Jonas brothers concert farther down the beach.

Max: That explains a lot.

Fang: *is, like, hurt and stuff.*

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Max: *kisses*

Fang: *heart explodes*

Max: Hope you enjoyed it. That's closest thing you'll get to making out with me until book five.

Gazzy: Let's see, Iggy is obviously the only sane one left, and he's blind. Let's put it this way; I'm dead.

JP: Look at it this way; soon Angel will be competing to take over Max's role soon anyway. You can be led by a little six year old that controls people with her mind.

Gazzy: Wonderful.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Love it? Hate it? REVIEW!!!!!**

**-FnickxxISxxsuperman**

**P.S. I'm about to embark on a journey to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some might call, "a floor". Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.**


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